at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Randomize
