Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
