I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize