what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
