do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Randomize
