i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Randomize
