Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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