i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
