6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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