Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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