She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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