I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
