For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
