just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
