I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
