I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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