so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
