hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
