I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
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