**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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