If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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