I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
