I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
