He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Randomize
