The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize