just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Randomize
