My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
