I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
