I CAN MOONWALK!
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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