And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize
