My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
