apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Randomize