Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
