Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
