i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
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