I can tuck mytits in my pants
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
