We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
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