Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
