try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
