This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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