Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Randomize
