Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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