And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
