Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
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Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
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You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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