Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Randomize
