mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
