Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
