we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Randomize
