I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
