What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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