he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Randomize
