glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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