Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
