Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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