I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
